The Cynic’s Notebook

It’s obvious from my political leanings who I’m rooting for, but I’m not going to spin this ala Bill O’Reilly. Tonight’s debate was at best a draw. McCain admittedly scored a few direct hits when the subject of Iran was brought to the table. However, you will never sink a battleship by invoking the shade of Henry Kissinger (Hey, Hank - let’s go to Cambodia!) or Ronald Reagan. Aside hammering down the fact that he hung out with greedy, white racists in his glory days - McCain ultimately came across as John McCain. A bitter, spiteful, and overbearing douche bag. His repetition of “…just doesn’t understand” was patronizing and reminiscent of a overseer talking down to a over-inquisitive “house Tobey”.

Sen. Obama’s performance was lacking. While demonstrating his oratorical skills, he always deffered to moderator Jim Lehrer. Who, I might add, was about useful as an asshole on my elbow during the precedings. Barack answered to many of McCain’s accusations, but never took advantage of McCain enthusiasm for dominating the conversation due to Lehrer being busy playing his Nintendo DS under the moderators table. He could of easily turned McCain hard tactics againt him by highlighting the difference in tone between them. Especially during the segment on the validity of diplomacy with Iran. Overall, Obama is showing indicators that he needs to drop the statesman approach and start throwing punches to the groin. At best, he clarified his positions so as to answer the questions on his “vagueness”.

It’s a draw. Nobody shat his pants, spouted racial slurs, or shouted “Allah Akhbar!” in front of millions of viewers. But according to an MSNBC poll, Obama is taking a commanding in lead in being favored as winner. Could this be an indication of a country wisening to the same old bullshit rhetoric of an administration made of fail?

The question I ultimately ask a lot of my peers is “Why?”. Why do you care about societies standards? Why do you care what this or that magazine expounds? Since when does a bunch of overpaid assholes in NYC have any right to dictate what is the “correct” way to live and present yourself? Are you capable of independent thought? Ultimately, as well, my question is met with some whining trite about the standards I have already laid to waste.

I’m glad Ugg boots have gone the way of LFO, but I wish it would have taken tanning with them. Tanning is possibly the most asinine garbage I have ever seen foisted upon the American populous next to Cassie Bernal’s mythologized martyrdom by the Christian Right. It may be crass of me to compare vain idiots to the exploitation of a dead girl, but it boils down to the same conclusion. People will swallow any garbage that’s fed to them if enough money and might thrown behind it.

Aside the retarded aesthetic choice of looking like my grandmother’s purse, tanning lends in hand in causing deadly melanomas and skin cancers. Think about the proposition here. You are giving a company $40 dollars a month to give a debilitating condition. For what? So strange dudes will be more apt to grind their dicks on you at some dance club? Here’s a better idea: pay me $40 a month to club you in the vagina with a tire iron. At leas then the money will be spent on a worthy cause. Namely, buying me smokes for the week and preventing you from tainting the gene pool.

Notice how I’m singling out women? That’s because you ladies are, by far, the largest demographic that buys into this horseshit. As if plastering yourself with chemicals and starvation wasn’t enough, now you’re letting these old, limp-dicked assholes who run the beauty industry tell you that an orange complexion compliments a bony ass. I step out my door, and I swear it’s like Auschwitz in this city. Legions of malnourished women who look as though they’ve been slow roasted at 1400 degrees for 3 hours.

Wow, I’m going to Hell for that one.

Here is a tip. Stop bitching and get a new fucking job. and you are a blogger… not a writter. Writters publish things.

Comment by :rolleyes: — September 21, 2008 @ 4:52 pm |Edit This

Welcome to the Internet, were anonymous cowards can make baseless accusation and ad hominem attacks with ease. Hell, I’ve been doing for over 10 year now and have elevated it to an artform. Which explains why I’m going out of my way to tell “rolleyes” why he/she/it is a complete asshole.

To begin with, “rolleyes” is a horrible name and demonstrates a marked lack of smarts for applying BBS lingo and UBBC into written communication. Also, their spelling, punctuation, and grasp of simple grammar is attrocious. If you want to launch criticism at me, and feel free to, then do so in a clear and succinct manner. From here on, “rolleyes” will be refered to as Buford. An archaic name for someone brandishing an Pre-Cambrian intellect.

The difference between myself and someone who bitches, Buford, is one of us assholes expects something to happen from his verbal diarrhea. Where as I’m simply recording my sojourn through post-modern America, the other guy is carrying enough delusions of grandeur to think his 1000 word tirade on the evils of the porn is going to shut down a multi-billion dollar industry. I expect nothing but stress relief and some entertainment for my friends and family.

The proper term for myself would be “curmudgeon“. As for you, Buford, you’re just a douchebag. If you had an iota of sense attached to your suggestion of “find a new job”, you’d never would have made it. Pick up a newspaper, or fire up Google, and look at the job prospects in this state. And I suggest this state because you are a NH citizen.

Yeah, I know you’re from NH. IP’s are recorded when comments are made, and a simple WHOIS search reveals you’re from the Northeast and coming out of the Boston central server and terminating in NH. Anonymous no more, retard. I bet I even know who you are, considering my Google ranking is sub-zero and I only tell associates, friends, and family about this. By the way, publishing refers to more than just print media, fucknut. Besides, when any asshole (even you!) can publish via LULU, then it shows how much print media exposure means jack shit these days.

As the years passed, and I became more politically savvy, Sununu became a thorn in my side. I often sent him letters asking for his opinion on matters such a Roe v. Wade, fiscal policy, and civil rights. The standard reply was a form letter outlining his platform (read: his parties platform) and a promise to listen to the people of NH. John Sununu has done anything but.

He’s a Republican. Born and bred in the party ideology with personal support from Count Dracula himself, Grover Norquist. This Masshole expatriate has a rather shoddy list of credentials that makes me wonder how the hell he’s stayed in office for so long. His latest ad all over WMUR has some Rudy Guilliani impersonator stating “We’ll stand with the man who votes with NH 100% of the time”.

He’s record makes the case for the exact opposite. He’s staunchly pro-life, pro-business, and pro-gun. He likes to tout his opposition to the Patriot Act, but has no problem telling the women of this state what they can do with their bodies or denying 100m for teenage sex/contraceptive education. The “I vote for New Hampshire” is even more ludicrous when he voted for the evil bankruptcy overhaul and for allowing employers to interfere with unionization attempts. When the North Country mill closings were spreading like wildfire, Sununu was effectivley pouring gas on it by preventing the employees from seeking realistic debt relief. With his decidely anti-union stance, he’s preventing other workers from protecting themselves from exploitation. He was designated an A rating by the NRA. If there was ever reason to not vote for somebody, its getting an endorsement from the NRA.

John Sununu doesn’t vote for NH. He votes for business interests, moral legislation, and gun nuts.

I am not a blogger.

I’m a fucking writer. A writer who is slightly irritated with being lumped in the same category as batshit lunatics like Nico Haupt or closet-case shysters like Matt Drudge. “Blogging” used to be called E/N sites, meaning “everything and nothing”, and were nothing more than bitching on the Internet and free porn before the ubiquity of Youtube-esque porn aggregators. For instant laughs and general human interest garbage, they were great.

But that era has come to an end has been replaced by a horrible movement with a horrible fucking word attached to it: blogs. That word is just retarded and perfectly encapsulates everything wrong with this cancer that is slowly overtaking legitimate media. Look to the right, and you’ll see only a scant few that I have deemed worthy of attention. As far as I’m concerned, the rest of the self-aggrandizing assholes can eat a bag of dicks.

I had a statistic fed to me by a Youtube video. It stated that world’s population trust blogs more than static websites. Of course, I called horseshit. Especially when the host of the video is some longhair who probably loves Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and lying about his yearly income to 15 year olds. But if people actually trust information from blogs more than established sites or media formats, that is fucking terrifying. These are the people that should be required to take a test prior to voting or operating machinery. If we keep in mind that roughly 33% of Americans believe 9/11 was the outcome of a vast government conspiracy, it’s safe to say that they constitute almost half of this dimwitted percentile. They would probably nominate Loose Change for a daytime Emmy.

Once again, I am not a blogger. I run Wordpress software at the behest of financier and it’s easy to use. However, if you relate me to the assholes who run the gamut of to unfortunate left-wing psychopaths or right-wing nutjobs - I will push you down a flight of stairs.